Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
