Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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