you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
