She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
