I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
