Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
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Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
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Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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