i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Randomize
