it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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