Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
