I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with youâ€
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