During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
