My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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