If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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