i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize