Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
