Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
