Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
