My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize