How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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