There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
