It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
