she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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