if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
