the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
