omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
