Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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