he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
