Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
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If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
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I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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