Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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