Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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