who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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