you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
