No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
