Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize