Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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