I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Quick, to the slutcave!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
