do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
