on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
