Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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