another moral hangover. fuck.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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