did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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