I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I got inside last night via doggy door
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
