And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize