I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
