i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
