There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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