so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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