it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
