I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
