the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
