hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
