it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I need to stop coming to work sober
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
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