I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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