dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
