I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Boobs are out for the taking
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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