Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
