My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
