He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
