If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
