I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Randomize
