Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
