Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
