ugly people sure do ruin things
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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