I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
