this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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