To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
