My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
