I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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