I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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