Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just want nice things and good sex
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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